The Daily Mash’s inimitable take on the upcoming Diamond Jubilee celebrations:
Another old man on television, Sir Roy Hobbs, said: “Who could ever be cynical in this time of woo yay.”
Mother-of-two Emma Bradford was less enthusiastic. She said: “It’s hard to say exactly how good she is because there’s no other Queens of England currently working that we can compare her to.
“I mean, I might have made an even better queen. It’s something I mentioned to the careers advisor at school but he just made a face and gave me a leaflet about jobs in data entry.
“Still, I don’t want to be difficult so…woo yay, the Queen.
My own take will follow at the weekend.