And Today’s “No Sh*t, Sherlock” Prize Goes To…

heathrow-airport-third-runway-aviation-policy

 

… the hapless Conservative ministers who decided to pander to the green vote by opposing the expansion of London Heathrow Airport during the last general election campaign, but who have finally realised that perhaps constraining airport growth and undermining London’s status as one of the premier European hubs was maybe not such a good idea after all.

As reported in the Guardian today:

According to senior sources, both David Cameron and George Osborne have been convinced of the need to act – and re-examine long-term policy on Heathrow – after being lobbied by overseas leaders and business figures who warn that trade will move elsewhere in the EU unless the airport is expanded.

While the coalition agreement rules out a third runway at Heathrow, which would never be tolerated by the pro-green Liberal Democrats, many Tories now want the party to admit the decision was wrong and back the new runway in the manifesto for the next general election. In the meantime, however, ministers have ordered officials to examine a series of other options. One is the use of RAF Northolt in Ruislip, north-west London, for business flights, to ease pressure on Heathrow, just 13 miles away. Developing Northolt – and perhaps connecting it to Heathrow with a high speed rail link – would allow the government to avoid accusations of a U-turn as the third runway would then be some distance from the main airport.

Just as an aside, note how this story appears in The Guardian’s Environment section, not the Business section.

And predictably, in their panic, a whole load of new hare-brained schemes are now being concocted by these same Conservative ministers:

Tim Yeo, the Tory chairman of the energy and climate change select committee, said that he had “completely changed” his mind on Heathrow expansion and now believed there was no option but to build a third runway to ensure the south of England remained a worldwide aviation hub.

Great. Unfortunately that realisation is followed by this:

While the coalition agreement rules out a third runway at Heathrow, which would never be tolerated by the pro-green Liberal Democrats, many Tories now want the party to admit the decision was wrong and back the new runway in the manifesto for the next general election. In the meantime, however, ministers have ordered officials to examine a series of other options. One is the use of RAF Northolt in Ruislip, north-west London, for business flights, to ease pressure on Heathrow, just 13 miles away. Developing Northolt – and perhaps connecting it to Heathrow with a high speed rail link – would allow the government to avoid accusations of a U-turn as the third runway would then be some distance from the main airport.

Seriously – if the government proposes many more airports we will soon reach a point where there is a little tiny one in everyone’s back garden, with a fully fueled Boeing 747 idling on the 5-metre runway. And each of them, of course, will have a high-speed rail link to Heathrow Airport.

Because nothing says “come connect through Britain on your journey” like having to transfer between a million small airports on an imaginary high speed rail link that may or may not be built in 30 years’ time.

For once, can we actually do something quickly and efficiently in this country, and build the damn third runway at Heathrow?

No hand-wringing, no five year national enquiry chaired by a retired betitled judge, no proposals for twenty new small satellite airports, each serving two destinations and each requiring a high-speed rail link to connect them to the others. None of that. This one really isn’t rocket science. Just build the damn runway.

Don’t Say Anything Mean, Don’t Say Anything Mean…

Politico reports that the former Vice President, Dick Cheney, recently received a heart transplant:

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0312/74431.html

Cheney, 71, had been on a transplant waiting list for more than 20 months, and is now recovering in the Intensive Care Unit of Inova Fairfax Hospital in Falls Church, Va.

“Although the former vice president and his family do not know the identity of the donor, they will be forever grateful for this lifesaving gift,” Cheney aide Kara Ahern said in a statement, according to the news service.

Dick Cheney is not a tremendously nice man, at least in terms of his public work. He was the dark force behind some of the most egregious power grabs by the executive branch in recent memory, enthusiastically and unapologetically supported the use of torture by US forces, and was in every respect one of the most ruthless proponents of the worst of neoconservatism ever to have occupied high public office.

Nonetheless, the man is recovering from heart surgery so I will spare him the polemic that I normally feel like writing whenever he is forced back into my consciousness by current events.

However, I can’t help but allow myself a little chuckle when I think back on this old article from The Onion:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-heart-device-allows-cheney-to-experience-love,2294/

New Heart Device Allows Cheney to Experience Love. Image from TheOnion.com

That is all. For now.

The Republican Party, Or The Mikado

Okay, so some good news out of St. Louis. Ron Paul, the only Republican presidential candidate still in the race whose political ideology, record in office and personality that I can reasonably tolerate, is apparently doing well in the Missouri caucuses. So says the St Louis Post-Dispatch:

http://www.stltoday.com/news/local/metro/ron-paul-supporters-dominate-gop-caucus-in-st-louis/article_4c7977d4-75e0-11e1-858e-001a4bcf6878.html

Hooray.

Except, why is Missouri having a caucus, didn’t they just have a primary last month? Why, yes, they did, but it was a non-binding primary because some awesome person or people in the legislature screwed up and left a law requiring the state to hold a primary on a date that was earlier than the Republican National Committee would sanction. So they went ahead and held the primary in accordance with their state law, but it was essentially a “beauty contest” because the results counted for nothing. These caucuses, happening now, are the ones that count.

As The St. Louis Post-Dispatch helpfully explains:

“The slate backing Paul cast 158 votes in the non-binding caucus Saturday. The purpose was to choose representatives to a round of Congressional district meetings in April and June that will repeat the process to send 52 delegates from Missouri to the August convention in Tampa, Fla.”

Is that clear everyone? What do you mean, no?

So. The primaries that happened last month in Missouri counted for nothing. But that’s okay, because the caucuses that are happening now will choose the representatives that then go on to another round of meetings in April and June, the output of that meeting being the selection of 52 delegates to travel from Missouri to Florida where they can then all bicker together about who will have the honour of being electorally destroyed by Barack Obama in November.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the greatest democratic system on the face of the earth, etc.

Seriously, this is the stuff of which Gilbert & Sullivan operettas were made in terms of farcical plots, topsy-turvydom and bureaucratic nonsensical officialdom.

Firstly, having a long series of primaries and caucuses is dumb, because by the time the race gets to the big states that actually, y’know, contribute the most to the union (we can quibble about how we define “contribute the most” but we all know it’s true – lose Alabama, for instance, and the USA will pick itself up and limp on, ‘real America’ or not; lose California or New York or Texas and there’s a mortal wound right there) the race is pretty much already decided. Sure, it’s great to make the big rich hot-shots trek around a million diners and pancake houses pressing the flesh every morning and participating in good ol’ fashioned retail politics. But why should ethanol-swilling rural Iowans and their special interests have more of a say in choosing the nominee than those residents of the industrial midwest, or the two heavily populated coasts? It makes no sense, and the way in which those overlooked states which rightly try to increase their influence by bringing forward their primaries have been bullied, slapped down or penalised by the establishment is, if anything, the real affront to democracy taking place in America at the moment.

Secondly. if you are going to have a series of primaries and caucuses, can we at least get together to apply roughly the same rules to them all, so that you don’t need to fire up IBM’s Deep Blue supercomputer to work out the impact of each primary election night on the fortunes of the respective candidates? I know, I know, state’s rights and so on and so forth. That’s fine. Every state is allowed to do what they want and organise their primaries the way they best see fit. But when the existing method makes you all look like a disorganised bunch of ass clowns, maybe it’s time to actually get together and come up with a more uniform system. Now when might be a good opportunity to do that? If only there was some upcoming pre-arranged big gathering of the nation’s top Republicans, in a big convention city like, say, Tampa, Florida, that would perhaps be ideal. But we can only wish.

Thirdly. As long as America persists with the ridiculous system they have in place at the moment (and the Democrats aren’t much better on their side, but of course Obama’s renomination is not being contested so we hear nothing about the “superdelegate” shenanigans this time around), I will continue to unapologetically act as cheerleader for Ron Paul’s scrappy efforts to increase his delegate haul by using his army of devoted supporters to out-organise the front-runners and win the apparently-crucial but almost-unreported actual meetings that assign the delegates for real.

After all, if the rules are stupid or flexible enough that winning a majority of votes in a state’s primary or caucus doesn’t guarantee you something approaching a commensurate proportion of delegates to the convention, three cheers for the guy with the smarts to actually play the system.

Fundamentalist, Self-Righteous Moron Needs To Shut Up

Not to be outdone by Newt Gingrich, the other candidate running to be the first High Priest of the new American theocracy was also out with a new television campaign commercial, inviting us to imagine the dystopian world that will exist in two years if Obama is re-elected:

 

That’s right, a terrible dystopian land where big government decides what women can do with their bodies and employers can chop and change your healthcare, denying you critical coverage based on their own…oh wait, no that’s the dystopia that we want if we are Republicans today.

Dylan Byers from Politico also notes:

In addition to all the other scary things that happen in this new Rick Santorum ad, which was released today, you’ll notice that Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad morphs into U.S. president Barack Obama right about the time the narrator says “sworn American enemy.”

Pay close attention and you will see how President Obama’s face is briefly superimposed over that of Iranian President Ahmedinejad, as the words “sworn American enemy” are uttered.

Keep it classy, Rick Santorum.

Fundamentalist, self-righteous moron needs to shut up.

That is all.

Jowly, Pompous Moron Needs To Shut Up

From the Burns & Haberman blog on Politico today:

http://www.politico.com/blogs/burns-haberman/2012/03/newt-why-does-obama-behave-the-way-that-people-would-118463.html

Asked about polls suggesting many in the public continue to think Obama is a Muslim, Gingrich said in Louisiana that he takes Obama “at his word” that he believes in Christianity.

Then he launched into a riff on how Obama’s policies are excessively sensitive to non-Christian, non-Jewish faiths, suggesting it could raise doubts for some about where the president’s impulses come from.

“Why does the president behave the way that people would think that [he’s Muslim]?” Gingrich said. “You have to ask, why would they believe that? It’s not cause they’re stupid. It’s because they watch the kind of things I just described to you.”

Yes. This is one of those delightful two-step moves performed so effortlessly by so many shameless people in today’s Republican Party, whereby they cosy up to the foaming-at-the-mouth racists on the far right, and then walk it back just enough to be acceptable. So Gingrich doesn’t agree with the huge trunk of his party’s base who believes that Obama is a Muslim (not, for heaven’s sake, would there be anything wrong with that even if he was, but that’s a whole separate blog post). No, he doesn’t agree with them, but they aren’t stupid (actually, yes they are), Obama must be doing something to make all of these sensible, level-headed, god-fearing Americans believe that he is a Muslim. Y’know, other than being black.

Jowly, pompous moron needs to shut up for awhile.

That is all.