10 Reasons Why Conservatives Are Against Water

The humour blog List of X has an amusing commentary on the conservative backlash against the First Lady Michelle Obama’s attempts to encourage the US population to drink more water for the benefit of their health. Because the dang government has no place telling us what to eat and drink, even if it does prevent us from ballooning to 300 pounds in weight and needing an electric scooter to help us with our weekly Wal-Mart shop…

List of X

Last week, the First Lady Michelle Obama rolled out “Drink Up”, a new public health campaign aimed to convince Americans to drink just one more glass of water a day, and it didn’t take long for conservatives, most prominently Rush Limbaugh, to criticize Michelle Obama for promoting water.  And, of course, all this criticism was absolutely not because conservatives reflexively oppose any idea might be suggested by anyone named “Obama”.  No, there are, in fact, many perfectly legitimate reasons for conservatives to hate water.  Here are 10 of them.

1)  Water is a primary ingredient of most liberals, making up 60% of an average liberal by weight.  (This is not true for conservatives, who are composed of 60% Bible and 40% Constitution.)

2)  Water is a weapon of terrorism.  According to the TSA, a bottle of water can take out an entire airplane.

3)  Water is a slippery slope…

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