Today’s Best Thing Of The Day was brought to my attention by my wife, from a rather unusual source (at least in terms of this blog) – the bitingly funny celebrity gossip website dlisted.com.

Dlisted have a regular, self explanatory feature called Hot Slut Of The Day, which honours the recipient for their unique, unabashed awesomeness, or for otherwise being noteworthy in the world of celebrity gossip. Tuesday’s joint recipients were an elephant and dog duo from the United States. The blog’s author, Michael K, writes in his inimitable style:

Bubbles was brought to the US and adopted in 1983 by the Myrtle Beach Safari in South Carolina after her family was killed for their tusks by poachers in Africa. 24 years later, Bella was abandoned at Myrtle Beach Safari by a contractor hired to build Bubbles a pool. Bubbles was an orphan, Bella was an orphan and it was love at first sight. They bonded over their love of the water and immediately became the Oprah and Gayle of the Myrtle Beach Safari. If Bella ever gets on Bubbles’ last elephant nerve by using her head as a diving board for the 6,834,678th time, Bubbles could easily squash that bitch, but she doesn’t, because her heart spits out love for that dog. They love each other all the way and are always together, so of course lesbian rumors surround them. They refused to respond to the rumor that one of the gossiping tigers saw Bella hump on Bubbles’ trunk.

The accompanying video is well worth watching:

 

You’re welcome.